If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
