just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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