i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
