Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
