I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
