Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
