my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
