Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
