put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
