plz talk dirty to me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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