I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
