She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
