Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
