ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
