I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
