You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
