i jhust puked up my retainher.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
