if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
