I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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