I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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