Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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