I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
