yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
