It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
