FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
