so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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