I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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