I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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