as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
