At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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