dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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