I smell stomach acid.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
