Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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