And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
