She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
