I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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