Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So many bounce houses so little time
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
