Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
