Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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