Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
