Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
