A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
