then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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