You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
