this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
