dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it hurts more in the daytime
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
