Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
