"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
