It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
