My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The air taste purple.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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