please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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