how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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