Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
